Fun times in Retail

When did a simple trip to buy some moisturiser become a source of extreme stress?

In recent years stores in New Zealand seems to have eased the policy of forcing their sales staff to do the hard sell, which in my opinion has been a positive move. I recall through my many years at a large national book chain the cyclical nature of our 'sales training' which went from good old fashioned laid back kiwi 'service', to harassing the customers into submission, to leaving stores so short staffed that customers were totally ignored.

When I first started in the store (let's call it 'W') in the mid nineties the 'let the customer be, and they'll come and ask when they want help' policy was how we worked. By '97 this was replaced by an awful American created system where we were forced to approach all customers within 15 seconds with a cheesy forced opening line. We were watched by upper management when they came around on store visits as they ticked off boxes on a sheet when assessing us, and we got a right telling off if we missed any of the 'sales steps' regardless of whether our customers had left the shop happy. One area manager in particular told us that if an opening line such as 'that's a lovely necklace where did you get that?' didn't come to mind, then we could perhaps accidentally 'bump' into the customers and use the apology as the way to start a conversation. As the years went on and I was promoted the sad task of taking sales training in this bullshit became my unhappy job to fulfill. Difficult to do when the material you're working with is such trash and doesn't sit at all well with your ethics. One particularly grating aspect was an entire chapter of sales training based on 'keeping the customer in the store as long as possible' which gave examples such as 'sitting down with the customer over a free coffee to discuss their purchase' - hardly sensible in a store with no coffee shop, nor practical with only two staff on duty!

By 2002 they'd totally dumped this sales process and the staff harassment that came with it and replaced it with a year of cutting back on staff budgets. By the time I left in 2003 the shop was so short staffed that the attitude seemed to be 'bugger the customers, they can find what they need themselves'.

No doubt soon they'll pick up on another American based sales system more suited to a tacky car yard and the cycle will start again.

The Body Shop however has always had the same old policy... fill their stores up with staff, who either stare at you like you're a shoplifter or follow you around to the point of distraction asking stupid questions, that are blatantly obvious sales ploys. Today's seemingly simple visit to buy a tub of body butter will potentially be the last time I ever purchase anything from their stores as I simply cannot handle the stress of stepping inside when the experience goes something like:

Did I know they have a matching body scrub for that body butter? (yes, but no thank you as I have to use a special soap for my skin) Did I know that their scrubs are soap free? (no, but like I said I have my own special one) So you want to stick to the one you've got? (uh, yeah...) Did you know the body butter is on special? (yes, thanks to your giant special sign) You'll NEVER see them at that price again! I'm surprised it's that cheap now (uh huh...) It's a good time to stock up! (one is fine thanks)... By this time I have managed to break free from sales witch #1's vortex of hell, reached the sales desk and I am holding my EFTPOS card out at a 90 degree angle from my body desperately trying to pay and get the hell out of dodge. J is shuffling from foot to foot clearly getting a tad enraged at the situation... They weren't done with me yet though! On to sales Witch #2...

Would I like to join the body club (no thanks I only come here once a year) Of course it costs $5 to join but if you buy a few things every three months it works out to be good value with the discounts (yep, um no thanks like I said... once a year...) Does that sound like something you'd be interested in (not right now thanks) Oh well something to think about (indeed).

I was finally allowed to pay and we scarpered out of the shop and shook our heads at each other in disbelief.

Thanks for the fun Bodyshop, I won't be back...

New Zealand Webcams - for fun

A Nelson firm has launched a NZ Accomodation website called 'Take a Break' that has some pretty cool webcams - to have a look at the Nelson webcam click here

Not a bad idea to show how damn nice the area you're booking accomodation for looks via webcam, plus it's good place for homesick Kiwis to go for a slice of home!

Kaiteriteri Beach cam is awesome too, this is where lots of NZers go to play and about 50 mins drive from home.

The 'Nelson' camera is located on Rocks Road which is my favorite part of Nelson because as you drive along it you can see Tasman Bay and the Mount Arthur Ranges in the background. Looking at the view as we drive along here is a great way to de-stress after a crap day.

Who Wants to Be... A BILLIONAIRE?

A friend just returned to NZ from a trip home to Africa as an instant Billionaire. Sadly all this lot will get is a couple of loaves of bread (or at least, you'd have bought that two weeks ago). Lesson is, don't complain about the price of your morning coffee going up... things could definately be worse!

Kiwi concert goers get another raw deal?

Not that they are my cuppa tea, but next month I am off to Christchuch sort of for the Iron Maiden concert. That is to say, I'm going to Christchuch with a group of friends and they will attend the concert, while I have a lovely night out with a girlfriend.

All was well flights were booked, hotel rooms acquired and tickets secured. This was all done rather early, as being keen, loyal fans they guys didn't want to miss out. Then comes the nasty surprise of the concert being delayed by one night due to 'logistical problems' coupled with a change of venue. Interestingly the venue is a LOT smaller (changing from a rugby stadium to an events centre) and is now on a Sunday night. Alarms bells ring *ding dong* and quite frankly the first thought that springs to mind is one of low ticket sales and a promoter bailing on the stadium idea.

Call me cynical, but this happens so often in New Zealand. It seem that the Promoters decide we Kiwis should be grateful just to get any bands here at all that they can get away with this whenever they want as so, so many bands bail on planned concerts it's not funny. Flight bookings are made, annual leave booked, hotels paid for and then the rotton bastards decide to stop at Australia and bugger travelling across the Tasman. This is what I would call Poor Form of the highest degree.

A bit of loyalty to the fans would be nice, and my view is it is better to not pretend you're coming to NZ at all than to let people down...

Now, as mentioned above, Iron Maiden have not actually cancelled, they've 'simply' changed dates. This is not anywhere near as bad as bailing however this simple move has cost five people I know:

1) at least $50 each in airfare change fees
2) the cost of an extra night's accomodation
3) the cost of having to use a day's annual leave now the concert is on a Sunday night with no chance of us getting back to Nelson by Monday morning

Ah, the price of being a loyal fan who gets in early when they hear that a fave band is coming... no wonder ticket sales often falter, thus causing the venue change to happen. It's a vicious circle! But can you blame people for wanting to save themselves extra costs if things change?? I think not!

Returning to Work Stupidity

You know what irritates me at this time of year? Moronic emails, memos, adverts and other general correspondence stating something along the lines of: "Now we're all back to work after a long summer break" or "now that your summer holiday is over"...

It's always grated on me, particularly because LOTS of people are yet to have a break at all, what with Christmas/New Year/Summer being somewhat busy in retail/service/sales land, oddly enough people in those industries have to work right through. Not only have they not had a break, but they've spent most of the last few weeks being abused by rude customers.

Do I have a point? Not really, just wanted to vent and warn people not to use that line on me if they want a civil response.

That's all!