Non-Binary

Googlemaps Never Fails to Amuse Me...

2010-11-29T19:42:00.003+13:00

Always amusing to pop a random journey into Googlemaps looking for directions!

Aragorn the Swan Attacks!!

2010-10-30T10:20:00.006+13:00

You may remember our little friend in the Maitai (who apparently is known as Aragorn...) from this post here

Well low and behold someone got a little close to the old boy this week in their Kayak and he took his revenge:

Honestly, is it a secret that swans have a tendancy to throw a wobbly or lash out when they feel threatened? Good on you old boy I say!

(no, I have no sympathy after an incident where I was stuck in a small cage with a bucking billy-goat as a child! NB: Yes, I was somewhere I wasn't meant to be!)

It's all action here in Nelson, NZ I tell you!

The Day the Earth Moved

2010-09-06T18:59:00.004+12:00

We're used to earthquakes in New Zealand, really we are. On the back of our telephone books are civil defence guidelines (always handy to know what to do in that earthquake/tsunami/volcanic eruption!), we have natural disaster kits in our houses full of candles, tinned food, transistor radios, bottled water etc. In other words we are prepared.

So when disaster did in fact strike in Christchurch in the early hours of Saturday morning the residents of our second largest city didn't panic. Neighbours helped neighbours, people didn't run around screaming. In short, Kiwis were Kiwis and got on with it!

Thankfully there has been no loss of life which is no doubt thanks to preparation, our strict building codes (for modern builds) and most importantly because the earthquake struck in the middle of the night. The Christchurch CBD where a lot of damage happened is a hub of activity from early morning until late at night and if these buildings had collapsed in day time it is without doubt there would have been loss of life.

Lucky Christchurch!

Here's a link to the Stuff.co.nz earthquake news coverage: Earthquake Stuff!

...and here's a quite good link to photos from various sites: Earthquake Pix!

Last but not least the GNS website: Geonet!

A Fabulous Photo Gallery of Nelson

2010-08-28T10:58:00.006+12:00

The Nelson Mail has a pretty good photo gallery of Nelson snaps online, all submitted by readers.

Have a look here:

Nelson Mail Reader's Photo Gallery

Oh how I love this town :)

A Quick 17 Month Catchup:

2010-08-07T18:59:00.003+12:00

Jan, Feb, March, April 2009 - Worked counting days until holiday

May, June 2009 - Glorious 5 weeks in Europe, good times with Northern types

July, Aug, Sept, Oct 2009 - Working, recovering from not being on holiday. Lots of time dedicated to helping fight NZ Rugby Union bollocks.

Nov 2009- Joy as NZ Rugby Union decides not to ruin careers of colleagues nor rip the heart out of provincial rugby. Celebrate by booking next lovely European Adventure.

Dec 2009 - Christmas fun, still working.

Jan, Feb, Mar, April, May 2010 - simply working and waiting for European Adventure

Jun, Jul 2010 - Fabulous 5 weeks in Tokyo and Europe.

August 2010 - Back to reality with a bang. Struggling to get back into it at work. Remember poor abandoned blog.

Add to the above the arrival of four baby girls (one niece and three friend-lings), a Grandfather turning 80, a cat trying to die, recovering, trying to die and then recovering in an endless loop and various other minor adventures work and non-work related and I suppose it's been a busy year. Might try this blogging caper again...

Lead By Example?

2010-01-12T15:13:00.003+13:00

If ever there was an example of how NOT to lead by example surely this is it?

From pass the peas to threatening to stab?

Thanks: Nelson Mail

11 Months of neglected blog...

2010-01-10T13:24:00.003+13:00

Hmmm wonder what happened to 2009? Moving right along.

It took my horror at the new Air New Zealand uniforms to bring me out of the wilderness: http://tvnz.co.nz/travel-news/new-pink-air-nz-uniforms-under-fire-3326545

What are they thinking? To be honest this seems like what happens when a designer and an airline try to be a little bit too clever for their own good. Cabin crew are complaining that the uniform will show up food stains (ick) and Air NZ customers (myself included) are complaining about visual assult. The scariest part is apparently these have been designed to compliment the new cabin decor to be rolled out in 2011... now THAT is a scary thought.

Seriously Air NZ, as a customer who travels long haul on a fairly frequent basis with you, my beloved national carrier my message to you is: Abort! Abort! Abort!

Fun times in Retail

2009-02-15T15:52:00.002+13:00

When did a simple trip to buy some moisturiser become a source of extreme stress?

In recent years stores in New Zealand seems to have eased the policy of forcing their sales staff to do the hard sell, which in my opinion has been a positive move. I recall through my many years at a large national book chain the cyclical nature of our 'sales training' which went from good old fashioned laid back kiwi 'service', to harassing the customers into submission, to leaving stores so short staffed that customers were totally ignored.

When I first started in the store (let's call it 'W') in the mid nineties the 'let the customer be, and they'll come and ask when they want help' policy was how we worked. By '97 this was replaced by an awful American created system where we were forced to approach all customers within 15 seconds with a cheesy forced opening line. We were watched by upper management when they came around on store visits as they ticked off boxes on a sheet when assessing us, and we got a right telling off if we missed any of the 'sales steps' regardless of whether our customers had left the shop happy. One area manager in particular told us that if an opening line such as 'that's a lovely necklace where did you get that?' didn't come to mind, then we could perhaps accidentally 'bump' into the customers and use the apology as the way to start a conversation. As the years went on and I was promoted the sad task of taking sales training in this bullshit became my unhappy job to fulfill. Difficult to do when the material you're working with is such trash and doesn't sit at all well with your ethics. One particularly grating aspect was an entire chapter of sales training based on 'keeping the customer in the store as long as possible' which gave examples such as 'sitting down with the customer over a free coffee to discuss their purchase' - hardly sensible in a store with no coffee shop, nor practical with only two staff on duty!

By 2002 they'd totally dumped this sales process and the staff harassment that came with it and replaced it with a year of cutting back on staff budgets. By the time I left in 2003 the shop was so short staffed that the attitude seemed to be 'bugger the customers, they can find what they need themselves'.

No doubt soon they'll pick up on another American based sales system more suited to a tacky car yard and the cycle will start again.

The Body Shop however has always had the same old policy... fill their stores up with staff, who either stare at you like you're a shoplifter or follow you around to the point of distraction asking stupid questions, that are blatantly obvious sales ploys. Today's seemingly simple visit to buy a tub of body butter will potentially be the last time I ever purchase anything from their stores as I simply cannot handle the stress of stepping inside when the experience goes something like:

Did I know they have a matching body scrub for that body butter? (yes, but no thank you as I have to use a special soap for my skin) Did I know that their scrubs are soap free? (no, but like I said I have my own special one) So you want to stick to the one you've got? (uh, yeah...) Did you know the body butter is on special? (yes, thanks to your giant special sign) You'll NEVER see them at that price again! I'm surprised it's that cheap now (uh huh...) It's a good time to stock up! (one is fine thanks)... By this time I have managed to break free from sales witch #1's vortex of hell, reached the sales desk and I am holding my EFTPOS card out at a 90 degree angle from my body desperately trying to pay and get the hell out of dodge. J is shuffling from foot to foot clearly getting a tad enraged at the situation... They weren't done with me yet though! On to sales Witch #2...

Would I like to join the body club (no thanks I only come here once a year) Of course it costs $5 to join but if you buy a few things every three months it works out to be good value with the discounts (yep, um no thanks like I said... once a year...) Does that sound like something you'd be interested in (not right now thanks) Oh well something to think about (indeed).

I was finally allowed to pay and we scarpered out of the shop and shook our heads at each other in disbelief.

Thanks for the fun Bodyshop, I won't be back...

New Zealand Webcams - for fun

2009-01-31T12:55:00.005+13:00

A Nelson firm has launched a NZ Accomodation website called 'Take a Break' that has some pretty cool webcams - to have a look at the Nelson webcam click here

Not a bad idea to show how damn nice the area you're booking accomodation for looks via webcam, plus it's good place for homesick Kiwis to go for a slice of home!

Kaiteriteri Beach cam is awesome too, this is where lots of NZers go to play and about 50 mins drive from home.

The 'Nelson' camera is located on Rocks Road which is my favorite part of Nelson because as you drive along it you can see Tasman Bay and the Mount Arthur Ranges in the background. Looking at the view as we drive along here is a great way to de-stress after a crap day.

Who Wants to Be... A BILLIONAIRE?

2009-01-29T22:19:00.007+13:00

A friend just returned to NZ from a trip home to Africa as an instant Billionaire. Sadly all this lot will get is a couple of loaves of bread (or at least, you'd have bought that two weeks ago). Lesson is, don't complain about the price of your morning coffee going up... things could definately be worse!

Kiwi concert goers get another raw deal?

2009-01-28T21:09:00.003+13:00

Not that they are my cuppa tea, but next month I am off to Christchuch sort of for the Iron Maiden concert. That is to say, I'm going to Christchuch with a group of friends and they will attend the concert, while I have a lovely night out with a girlfriend.

All was well flights were booked, hotel rooms acquired and tickets secured. This was all done rather early, as being keen, loyal fans they guys didn't want to miss out. Then comes the nasty surprise of the concert being delayed by one night due to 'logistical problems' coupled with a change of venue. Interestingly the venue is a LOT smaller (changing from a rugby stadium to an events centre) and is now on a Sunday night. Alarms bells ring *ding dong* and quite frankly the first thought that springs to mind is one of low ticket sales and a promoter bailing on the stadium idea.

Call me cynical, but this happens so often in New Zealand. It seem that the Promoters decide we Kiwis should be grateful just to get any bands here at all that they can get away with this whenever they want as so, so many bands bail on planned concerts it's not funny. Flight bookings are made, annual leave booked, hotels paid for and then the rotton bastards decide to stop at Australia and bugger travelling across the Tasman. This is what I would call Poor Form of the highest degree.

A bit of loyalty to the fans would be nice, and my view is it is better to not pretend you're coming to NZ at all than to let people down...

Now, as mentioned above, Iron Maiden have not actually cancelled, they've 'simply' changed dates. This is not anywhere near as bad as bailing however this simple move has cost five people I know:

1) at least $50 each in airfare change fees
2) the cost of an extra night's accomodation
3) the cost of having to use a day's annual leave now the concert is on a Sunday night with no chance of us getting back to Nelson by Monday morning

Ah, the price of being a loyal fan who gets in early when they hear that a fave band is coming... no wonder ticket sales often falter, thus causing the venue change to happen. It's a vicious circle! But can you blame people for wanting to save themselves extra costs if things change?? I think not!

Returning to Work Stupidity

2009-01-23T21:05:00.004+13:00

You know what irritates me at this time of year? Moronic emails, memos, adverts and other general correspondence stating something along the lines of: "Now we're all back to work after a long summer break" or "now that your summer holiday is over"...

It's always grated on me, particularly because LOTS of people are yet to have a break at all, what with Christmas/New Year/Summer being somewhat busy in retail/service/sales land, oddly enough people in those industries have to work right through. Not only have they not had a break, but they've spent most of the last few weeks being abused by rude customers.

Do I have a point? Not really, just wanted to vent and warn people not to use that line on me if they want a civil response.

That's all!

Sticky Questions

2009-01-15T20:08:00.005+13:00

Some questions are challenging because you have to refrain from adding 'you dipshit' to the end of your answer. Case in point the person that emailed me a query on my recent Trade Me auction for "PS3 Buzz Quiz - Game only" asking "Is this auction for just the game?". Dipshit.

Some questions require no answer such as 'Sweetie, can I make you a cuppa tea?" - it goes without saying...

Other questions are more challenging.

Recently two young tourists from Australia were killed on New Zealand's Fox Glacier, when a huge wall of ice collapsed on top of them, in an out of bounds area. The young men were travelling as part of a family group, and it came to pass that the keys to the family rental car were lost on the Glacier with the body of one of the victims.

The rental car company had to hire a tow truck and locksmith to get their car back to the North Island and get to have a new set of keys made. The cost for this has been quoted at around $2,000 which was billed to the family of the two young men, causing outrage in both New Zealand and Australia. There has been a lot of media attention bestowed upon this story and opinions are divided. One group of people are appalled the rental car company would ask the family to pay for the recovery of the vehicle, another group say the family should have bought travel insurance which would cover such an event, sad and unexpected as it is.

On one hand the situation could have been handled more tactfully, and the family treated with perhaps a lot more compassion - on the other $2,000 is a lot of money for the small rental car company to pay out for something out of their control. An amount that big could be the ruin of a small business particularly in this economic climate.

In the end members of the general public came forward and offered to pay the bill sent from the rental company (who incidently, in the face of this all have now withdrawn the bill and said they will pay the costs themselves). It's one of those stories that seems to have polarised the nation with anyone on the side of the rental car company being branded as heartless.

The difficult question is, if you owned that rental car business, what would you have done?

2009... and we are go for launch!

2009-01-10T10:45:00.003+13:00

What the hell happened to 2008? Holidays overseas, a busy rugby season full of the joys of marketing, crazy storms and strandings in strange places (Christchurch is strange right?). Then an entire month lost to being stuck at home being quite sick indeed, which happened to coincide with the horror that is 'Movember'. The timing of which was probably 'lucky' because even if I felt like kissing J during the evil sickness he wasn't coming near me with that spikey slug sitting on his lip anyway.

Then came December with a quiet xmas and an even quieter new year. Did we blow our load with too much excitement in May/June and turn into old farts somewhere along the line? Surely not.

Looking ahead this year is panning out to be a similar, but hopefully even better version of '08 with another trip to Europe coming up, weddings, more rugby and a lot more fun and some yet to be revealed secret excitements also in the works. I will endevour to skip the month off work sick and hospital visits (oh, and the trips to give blood samples and the joys of CRAPPING in containers for random strangers at the lab also).

Yay for 2009! Bring it on!

Unveiled Aggression in Carpark Finger Shocker!

2008-10-11T12:54:00.001+13:00

If you are backing out of a car park, and someone also backs out of a car park at the exact same time across from you (and no, there is no collision, not even close) is there any need for either party to pull a hell glare, shout abuse and pull the finger at you?

I think no...

Every morning, I turn off my street onto a main road into town, and every day without fail someone has to aggressively undertake me right at the end of the merging lane only to slam their brakes on in the crawling traffic. Why? They've gained nothing, except raised my blood pressure and theirs and made themselves look like a moron. Blah.

I wish people would just relax a little, stop being so aggressive and be more considerate on the roads. That's all!

Poor, abandoned blog...

2008-08-24T18:44:00.005+12:00

So May, June, July and now August have almost gone. Last time I posted on here we were about to head off overseas for our holiday. Which was awesome.

As I've started to have a hankering to once again put some sort of ramblings out there again, I thought why not fire up ol blogspot - so here I am.

And because I'm lazy, today I'm simply going to post a run down of our trip away. Bascially we went to England and Poland, with a smattering of Paris and San Fran chucked in there too. We caught up with several English friends who used to live in Nelson, and Kiwi friends now living in Warsaw. It was fantastic:

Fri May 23rd - Up, Up and away on Air NZ from Nelson to London via Hong Kong. 30 Glorious hours of planes, security screening and airports

Sat May 24th - Arrived London Heathrow & drove South to Exeter with Mr Johnny Town Mouse himself (JTM). Eurovision rocks.

Sun May 25th -First look around Exeter & Kenn. Treated to delicious ‘Devonshire Cream Tea’ by Mrs Town Mouse & her sis

Mon May 26th - Almost went to the Gloucester Cheese Rolling. Got there in time for last race to finish. Oops. First sighting of Carphone Warehouse @ Cribbs Causeway

Tue May 27th - Big sightseeing walk around Exeter City & Quay. Big sights, big walk. Found our missing Kiwi Mr D wandering around Exeter city. Falling down stairs incident #1

Wed May 28th - Visit to the wet, wet seaside town of Exmouth. Reunited with Tesco’s doughnuts.

Thu May 29th - Trip to Bath with team JTM. The goodness of Ye Olde English city. Happiness found in skinny leg boot shop!

Fri May 30th - Stepping back in time at the Roman Baths. Bridge crossing in Bristol!

Sat May 31st - Wander around Exeter & introduction to TK Max. Overnight ride to Bristol airport in slowest taxi on the Planet. Much stress as we worry we won't get there and will suffer at the hands of Easyjet check in staff...

Sun Jun 1st - Bye bye England and hello Poland via Ezyjet. Joyful times reunited with dear friends from back home & Peacocks in Warsaw Old Town & Lazienki Park. Falling down stairs incident #2

Mon Jun 2nd - Tripping around Warsaw city & visit to market. Eye opening intro to post-Communist shopping @ giant shiny mall

Tue Jun 3rd - Let loose on city alone! Language skills lacking but the locals don’t bite! Many photo opportunities in Old Town.

Wed Jun 4th - Visit to the Embassy & long, long, long lunch with dumplings. More relaxed wandering through the city.

Thu Jun 5th - Morning at the Warsaw Uprising Museum. Afternoon shopping with Dr P. The Polish enjoy their malls!

Fri Jun 6th - Enjoyed views of the city from utop the Palace of Culture, followed by lovely lunch in Saska Kepa. Mexican madness for dinner! Ole!

Sat Jun 7th - Road trip to Krakow. Euro Cup Fever in the streets. Unexpected golden times after stumbling upon giant fireworks festivus!

Sun Jun 8th - Sobering visit to Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp.

Mon Jun 9th - Road trip to Slovakia. Mulitple views of quaint villages & mountain scenes. Accidently found the most beautiful boutique hotel in Slovakia.

Tue Jun 10th - Journey back to Poland through the Slovakian wilderness (urban and rural!) An almost close encounter with lightning & cable car. Lovely evening spent back in Krakow.

Wed Jun 11th - A trot around Wawel Castle & shopping in Krakow. Road trip back to Warsaw via Czestochowa and it’s Black Madonna.

Thu Jun 12th - Awe inspiring visit to IKEA. A last walk around Old Town and into city centre. Euro Cup fever!

Fri Jun 13th - Farewells at the airport. Waterworks follow. Warsaw to France on Norwegian Air. Nice long summer evening wandering around Paris.

Sat Jun 14th - Paris! All Blacks beat England. Cultural interactions at Louvre and day spent avoiding George W. Bush.

Sun Jun 15th - Eiffel Tower followed by a day of Paris fun. Evening flight from Paris back to Exeter. Immigration interrogations.

Mon Jun 16th - Much needed morning of rest in Exeter. Trot into the city for afternoon exercise.

Tue Jun 17th - More much needed rest time. Witnessed mad schoolboy waxjob in Hospice store. Giggling old ladies, good times for schoolies!

Wed Jun 18th - Crazed afternoon shopping at Princesshay. English sales are awesome.

Thu Jun 19th - Hit the road with long lost friends from Nelson & their trusty Sat-Nav. Loving the English seaside at Torquay and Dartmouth. Tasty family dinner Kiwi style in Buckfast.

Fri Jun 20th - Dodged golf balls in Thurlestone and beat the tide at Noss Mayo with the Kiwis. Fantastic song and dance show from the Junior Kiwis. More tearful farewells then back to Exeter.

Sat Jun 21st - Last day with team JTM. Fish, chips, curry sauce and mushy peas in Budleigh Salterton. Turkish delights at dinner time (minus shoes!). Packing hell.

Sun Jun 22nd - Bye to Exeter = yet more teary farewells. Consider taking up shares in Kleenex. Trip to London in the Tank to meet up with JB. “JB Intro to London” tour followed by hour of circling Kensington on foot. Country kids in the big city!

Mon Jun 23rd - Let loose on London alone! London Eyes, giant clocks, much, much history & near visit to Tower of London.

Tue Jun 24th - JB comes up trumps with urban fox. Early start at Heathrow then flown from England to USA with a Virgin. Straight into it in San Francisco (shopping and eating!). Urban indulgence.

Wed Jun 25th - Stricken with the jet lag but power on like a trooper! Shopping, cable cars & Fisherman’s wharf. Breathing apparatus needed for forest fire smoke screen.

Thu Jun 26th - More joyful consumerism and a trot around Chinatown. Holiday almost over so time to head home. Left San Francisco for Auckland.

Fri Jun 27th - This day did not exist for us! Stolen by the international date line. Shocking!

Sat Jun 28th - Wet, cold welcome home to NZ. Auckland Airport layout is pure balls. Bumpy ride on Air Nelson back to home sweet home! Rest time.

The Final Countdown

2008-05-18T10:48:00.005+12:00

We're on the home stretch, less than a week to go. This time next week we'll be in Exeter possibly drinking to celebrate our mate's birthday, possibly snoring our heads off in the corner from jet lag, and looking like the most introverted party animals on earth. My guess is the latter, hardly the picture of the stereotypical Kiwi traveller but I'm okay with that!

Now my packing nightmares are becoming a reality. It's early 'summer' in England, but surely that means nothing in the temperature stakes? I imagine we'll experience anything from vaguely sunny moments to torrential rain, fog or maybe (eeek) snow. This is however based on my one 10 day visit to England in 'summer' 1999, so maybe I'm worrying for nothing. After England we're off to Poland and according to the multitude of internet weather sites I've been looking at it actually IS hot there. That means summer clothes surely...

In the end J keeps reminding me that we can always buy anything we need, which I need to keep in mind or I think I will go slightly crazy.

Roll on the holiday!!

What a treat!

2008-05-11T20:53:00.005+12:00

Awoke this morning to find the following in the lounge:
A pile of vomit, Saturday's newspaper covered in wee and a pile of crap atop a bunch of audio cables, all courtesy of the cats.

I guess it was my very own 'Mother's Day' treat. Lovely.

The Saga of the Unswept Chimney

2008-05-11T19:28:00.006+12:00

Wouldn't it be nice if tradesmen kept their appointments? Or, if say, the chimney sweep you've booked can't make the appointment that the company call you to let you know? Now that would be an interesting thing indeed.

You can tell where I'm going with this I'm sure. On Thursday, after a two week wait the chimney sweep was supposed to be here at 3:15pm. J took half the afternoon off work to be at home for the appointment, but when it got to 4:00pm and said chimney sweep still hadn't turned up I called the company. "Oh, our man fell off a ladder yesterday and can't make it. We tried to call you at home this morning"

Now it's terrible that this guy fell off a ladder, of course don't for a minute think I don't feel sorry for him. BUT as I told the woman on the phone, we would have appreciated a phone call AT WORK as opposed to our empty house to warn us. Or, how about calling at 3:15pm when the guy was actually supposed to turn up? Is that too difficult to do?

"We've booked you in for 3:15pm Saturday, is that okay?"

Wanting to enjoy lighting the fire and getting the lounge up to a toasty 38 degree C sooner rather than later of course I agreed to the booking, and come Saturday J once again stayed at home waiting for the chimney sweep.

I arrived home at 4:00pm, and once again this 'tradesman' is conspicuous with his absence - and then I noticed his business card tucked into the door on the balcony. By this stage I am somewhat enraged, as clearly this guy has turned up at a random time and buggered off. Several phone calls to and from the company follow at which time we are told he turned up at 11:00am. Of course. After all that's only 4 hours before the scheduled appointment. Why, I will never know. Eventually the owner of the company calls us to advise us that we'll have a new appointment time by later in the day.

It's now Sunday night, the chimney is still not swept and we do not have an appointment time booked. The owner of the company can't get hold of the chimney sweep, I am pissed off and stuck in the situation where we either suck it up and wait for this useless idiot to turn up, or risk another two week wait (which we can't do) for another company...

Bloody infuriating stuff really! Once again, thank goodness for the heat pump.

Meaty Surprise

2008-05-07T07:48:00.004+12:00

An exchange I had with a staff member at the local bakery on Saturday:

"Hi, do your Vege and Mushroom Quiches have meat in them?"

"What? The what? Well they've got bacon in them, of course!"

Right...

(And people wonder why I always question what is in food in this town.)

Unusual offer from Facebook...

2008-05-03T22:28:00.001+12:00

The Faulty Oven and the Blocked Up Chimney - A Tale of Procrastination

2008-04-29T18:18:00.003+12:00

Getting ready for a holiday seems to be such a busy task, that we will need the holiday simply to get over the preparation for it. This seems like some classic chicken and egg syndrome, but I'm not going to moan as in three short weeks we will be winging our way to London for the start of a five week break.

To make ours a happy home for a mate who will be our catsitter/housesitter we're getting around to having all those jobs done around the place that have been put off for many months. Things like getting the oven fixed so that it actually bakes. Imagine. I'm not really sure how the bottom element in our oven got into the mangled shape that it was in, and the electrician seemed somewhat taken aback when he saw the state of it. But all's well that ends well and we will be celebrating the joy that is roast chicken for the first time in almost 9 months later in the week! That's right, we've been strictly grilling or BBQing since last spring due to our inability to pick up a phone and call a serviceman. Now that's useless.

Next job will be the chimney, which hasn't been swept in two years therefore the fire hasn't been used either. Thank goodness for the heat pump! Now, we did try to get this sorted last winter. We even took a day off on annual leave to get it done along with several other odd jobs. The only problem was when the 'qualified, experienced chimney sweep' arrived at our house, he took one look at the fire and said something to the effect of 'oh dear what is that?'. Needless to say we asked him to leave, and just never got around to having the chimney done.

This is all rather thrilling stuff I'm sure, but for me it's amazing that after all this time we can cook and will soon have warming flame in our lounge! Almost like a real grown up house! Wheeeeee!

Next Stop Europe?

2008-04-03T22:27:00.005+13:00

Where is the year going? I think I blinked and lost February and March.

In seven weeks we're heading up north. Way, way up north to the UK and Poland to be precise, for what will be the longest holiday either of us have ever had as adults. We simply cannot wait.

We plan to relax, a lot. And the entire point of this holiday is to catch up with friends, who for various reasons have decided they simply MUST live somewhere other than NZ. I suppose I can forgive most of them, being that they are from Europe in the first place, but still.

Oddly though, a lot of people seem to take issue that we won't be doing the 'Famous travel book work your way through a tick box of attractions tour of Europe 08'. We're not really planning much of a touristy trip at all. That's not to say we won't partake in the odd trip up the London Eye here, walk through a cathedral there or maybe that new tourist attraction of waiting four hours for your bags to appear (or not) at Heathrow Terminal 5...

Aquaintances are so anxious to ensure we visit every tourist trap in England that they visited, that every day we're inundated with a list of 'you have to go here...' and 'you simply must do this...'. And while I appreciate that they are being kind, it's started to spin my head a bit and too much pre-planning tends to lend itself to me having a shit fit or vague kind of meltdown.

I'm already having 'travel' nightmares, the weirdest one so far is where I wake up at the airport (as you do) to discover that all J has packed for our trip is a bunch of cane baskets full of sewing pins and the faces off those Russian babuska dolls. WEIRD.

So, if you're one of the people in my life that's prone to giving handy tips from your mulitple trips to London where you hung out with a bunch of Kiwis while working in a pub with Kiwis (and a few Aussies and South Africans) followed by a drunken bus tour with more Kiwis please, for the sake of my sleep sanity keep your Rough Guide suggestions quiet at this time. It's not that I don't appreciate the ideas, it's that I need my sleep!

Moronic Adventure

2008-03-10T21:09:00.007+13:00

You know that feeling of dread you get in the pit of your stomach the split second after you make a stuff up? It's that moment precisely after you drop something precious, but just before it hits the ground smashing into a thousand pieces. It's that millisecond just before the deadbolt equipped door slams behind you, locking you out of your own house...

Yes, today I locked myself out of the house. And when it happened, even though I live in suburbia surrounded by people initially I felt like I was stranded in the middle of nowhere. No way to get in, no cell phone, no money. Not a great feeling. I blame the cat, for it was he that brought in the dead bird that I was disposing of (ever so elegantly) when the side door slammed behind me.

So at 11:30am this morning I found myself standing in the garden, cursing at the door, fire shovel (containing dead bird) in hand. First course of action was to get rid of the bird. That job done, I started mentally picturing which doors or windows I had left open - this wasn't too difficult, as I knew I had left NO doors or windows open. Happily, I was dressed, which was quite a feat cosidering I've spent most of the past 10 days sick either in bed, or moping around the house in various states of undress. I was wearing socks, but no shoes, clothes yes, brushed hair no... I was going to have to borrow someone's phone to call J so he could come and rescue me.

The next fifteen minutes were filled up by going door to door around the neighbour's houses frantically knocking and calling out but to no avail. Many an open door and window did I find, but not a single neighbour answered my knocking. All the while the cats were following me from house to house, miaowing to each other, or showing off as they went in and out of the cat door as if to demonstrate to me that in fact I was NOT locked out, if only I would shrink a bit and crawl through after them. This did not help my mood or the situation and after visiting our closest neighbour three times with no luck I realised I was going to have to walk down to the local pay phone to call J from there. How embarrassing. So with my Worzell Gummage hair do, and wearing the mud encrusted boots that I found out on the deck I did the walk of shame down to the local shops.

Telecom NZ make it nice and simple to call your sweetheart from the local phone box when you have no cellphone and have locked yourself out of the house. So after only a few button presses, and a bit of interaction with a Telecom Robot-Lady I was on my way to calling J. It did take three attempts to get through, and I suspect he was call screening intitally and then when he did answer apparently he almost hung up on Robot-Lady, as he thought it would be better to save the $4 collect call charge and just ring me on my cell phone. That would be my cellphone that was locked inside the house. Thankfully he stuck with it and accepted the collect call, listened kindly with only a small amount of laughter to my plight and raced home to save me.

So, the lesson is this: If you run out of the house to dispose of a dead bird, make sure you have a house key or cell phone or better still don't slam the door behind you, particularly if it's your only way back inside.

Back to work tomorrow, being at home sick is too full of adventure for me.

Just as a final note, this is not the first time I've locked myself out of a house. Last time I locked myself out of not only the house, but out of my car also. And the engine was running. When I stuff something up, I do it good and proper.

My Annual Rant on Stupid Comments:

2008-01-27T21:22:00.000+13:00

1) Don't call me at 11am on a Saturday or Sunday, and open the conversation with the question "Did I get you out of bed?"

No, you didn't. Oddly enough I am an adult and don't sleep all weekend. In fact I can barely sleep past 7am, even when I'm on holiday. Don't be surprised if I bite your head off if you call and you ask me this, as I find this question particularly grating. In case it has escaped your attention I am not a drunken pothead who never sees daylight. (It is also worth noting that you will get an especially shitty response if you ask me this when calling at TWO THIRTY PM as was the case with a family member a week ago).

Also, if I was in bed I wouldn't tell you anyway as it's none of your bloody business.

2) Take note: calling thin people names like 'skinny', 'lanky', 'lucky legs' etc is RUDE

Despite what you see in the media, most thin people can't help it! We don't all binge and purge, and we're not trying to look like Kate Moss. It's not fun being thin, you get cold in winter, for some reason a lot of woman glare at you and it is impossible to find clothes that properly fit. I have to put up with a lot of nasty comments from girls about my size. If I dared go up to a big person and called them fat I'd receive many a disgusted look or be told that I'm out of order. Grow up, and wake up to yourself.
Same goes for calling red heads 'ging-gas'

3) Don't ask me when I'm going to have children, why I don't have children or any other questions about children

Just because you have children, doesn't mean everyone else wants them too. Don't get me wrong, I am not in any way putting down the idea of raising a family I love my nieces and nephews and my friend's kids, but this is not the path for me. Don't tell people who have chosen to not have children that they will 'change their mind' , or undervalue their relationship as a couple by saying they are incomplete or not a true 'family'. And most of all, don't call couples without children selfish, I've been called this many, many times but have yet been given a reasonable explanation for why this is a valid comment.

4) Avoid starting a sentence with "What you want to do is..."

Almost without fail the 'advise' given with this comment is unsolicited, and the suggestion it contains is unwanted. Let's be honest, what you really mean is "What I want you to do is..." and that's just bossy isn't it?

- Thus ends tonight's rant. Am I the only one that finds these sort of things irritating?

Farewell Sir Ed

2008-01-22T18:55:00.000+13:00

Prime Minister Helen Clarke said upon Sir Ed's death: "The legendary mountaineer, adventurer, and philanthropist is the best-known New Zealander ever to have lived. But most of all he was a quintessential Kiwi. He was ours - from his craggy appearance and laconic style to his directness and honesty. All New Zealanders will deeply mourn his passing."

We're a tiny country, made up of islands in the middle of nowhere, and to almost every one of us here in NZ Sir Edmund Hillary was a hero. Not because he scaled Mt Everest necessarily but because of the work he did in Nepal for so many years, even after losing his wife and daughter in a plane crash in the same mountains that made him world famous. He was also a hero to us because he inspired so many people to strive for more, help more, achieve more and just simply DO more for others.

There was a comment made in the hours following his death, that struck a chord with me, that "There is nothing unusual about an 88 year old dying, yet it is unbelievable that Sir Ed has died - we all thought he would live forever."

Sir Edmund Hillary July 20th 1919 -January 11th 2008

Click here to view a short photo tribute to Sir Ed on stuff.co.nz

Yes I speak Kiwi, but it's still English dammit!

2008-01-11T21:49:00.000+13:00

I had to make a work call to the United States this morning, and seeing as I'm in the banking business it was about bank-type action, you know numbers, codes and whatnot.

NB: this may sound vaguely high powered and interesting, but just to clarify, it isn't. Not even a little bit.

Anyways, here am I chatting about a mutual client to some guy working in god-knows where in an America, and we're swapping SWIFT codes and account numbers. All very business like, he's got his fabulous customer service script down pat and sticking to it. I feel like I'm in a customer service 'how to guide' and he's so polite it feels unreal. Then I repeat a number back to him and I swear I hear him giggle. Lets face it, bank accounts may be a lot of things but generally they're not amusing.

What could he be laughing at? All I'd said to him was a mixture of letters and numbers along the lines of 8076 TUS66. I repeat the number. He laughs again, and gently says:
"No you need to put the number 6 in there and it's an 'S for Sam' in the middle"

"Yes" I say, and repeat it back again. More laughter. It's then I realise he thinks I am saying:
(8076) Eight-Zero-Seven-Sucks
(TUS66) T-U-Hess-Sucks-Sucks

It's English Jim! But not as they know it!

News Flash: Working in customer service can really suck

2008-01-06T22:17:00.000+13:00

I felt quite the wave of 'thank god I don't work in retail anymore' when reading the article "Cafes put out closed signs" in the Nelson Mail yesterday.

It seems that a few of the local cafes and bars are now not even opening over the public holidays due to 1) The cost of wages 2) The level of abuse from customers. Now I'm not so much down with their 'cost of wages' reasoning, but I don't want to get into that right now. The abuse from customers especially at this time of year is something I can fully relate to though. I spent many, many (far too many) years as an Assistant Manager (that's Ass Man to you) in a bookstore working lots of late nights, weekends and joyful public holidays.

Now Nelson is the kind of town that people like to visit for summer good times. Our population of 40,000 ish increases by about 30,000 ish with the influx of visitors over the Xmas/New Year. A large percentage of these visitors are complete arseholes (in in recent years Croc-wearing arseholes) who like to treat retail and hospitality staff like pond scum.

What is it about people reserving the right to treat retail staff like morons, while also expecting them to produce every conceivable product out of their arse, at the drop of a hat, and in the case of book store staff be expected to know every book in chronological order by every author in the known universe!

I recall being verbally abused one Boxing Day when we dared to open the shop at 9:30am. Not only had this woman suffered the indignity of having to wait longer than she expected outside our door, but we were daring to still be pricing some of our items... THE HORROR!

I was told, in no uncertain terms by this delightful lady from out of town that 'If you people are going to have a sale you should have it all ready by the time you open you know!' - now that's the holiday spirit! I really enjoyed her YELLING this at me at the top of her voice in front of about fifty customers.

Stupidly I'd decided on Xmas Eve that by 6:30pm the staff had done enough retail crap for the day and strangely I had let them get home to their families, Xmas Trees, Santa Claus etc. On reflection, I realise it was selfish of me to allow the staff to finish so early before Xmas and if I'd known that this lovely customer would be so put out I would have made them all work until midnight, hungry, and wielding their pricing guns!

And that's what I told her, hoping my thinly veiled sarcasm would touch some deeply hidden bone of compassion.
"Well you'll keep that in mind for next year won't you" was her reply.

At that point I walked away. It was best for both of us.

and it's a super start to 2008...

2008-01-04T21:07:00.000+13:00

After seeing the night out with quite the Guitar Hero session, we made an attempt at getting an early night at about 1:00am. Ahhh our best laid plans certainly went awry once we received a call out to J's work because the security alarm had gone off. So, it was into the car to pick up his workmate and off to the office, to thankfully NOT find a burgler.

Back home to bed, to get some lovely sleep but this was once again abruptly broken by the arrival of delayed 'Happy New Year' text messages at 2:30am, which was followed by a call from the UK at 4:10am (that's what you call a slight time difference cock up!), followed by yet more delayed texts at 5:00am. Now don't get me wrong, the texts and especially the phone call were much appreciated it just made for quite the different night of 'rest' than we had planned.

Morning arrived and Arna took off to drive back to Dunners and we headed off to to visit J's Dad who has recently moved to Rarangi in Marlborough. Of course, no road trip can start without indulging in a delicious, nutritious McDonald's burger for breakfast which we ate parked up on Rocks Road looking over Tasman Bay:

This is my favorite part of Nelson, and it's only about a five minute drive from our place. A nice way to start New Years Day after a broken night's sleep*

So, our dietary needs momentarily taken care of it was off to Rarangi, a mini New Years Day road trip of sorts. Thankfully there was a distinct lack of the usual bunch of wankers on the road, no doubt due to the fact that most people, in particular idiot sales reps* in merchandise laden station wagons were still in bed, hungover.

Rarangi was beautiful, and it was a sunny calm day. If you look closely you can see the North Island of NZ in the distant background of these pictures:

Fantastic day, we were absolutely knackered when we got home, though that didn't stop us having yet another Guitar Hero session that night with friends. We had to... it was due back at Video Ezy the next morning!

* Did I mention that somewhere in the middle of the overnight texts and calls I recall some sort of Swan Lake ballet presentation blaring out of the bedroom telly on BBC World, which was slightly disconcerting.

* The term 'idiot sales reps' refers to a special breed found on the road between Nelson and Blenheim. If you are a sales rep, no personal offense is intended. I'm sure you are lovely, and you probably drive quite well too!

It's New Years Eve 08 and Guitar Hero Rocks!

2007-12-31T20:15:00.000+13:00

The night is still young, it's 8:20pm in NZ. We've had a couple of beers and surprisingly forgone our usual BBQ dinner (in place we had a healthy assortment of fried food from the pub). So now it's time for Guitar Hero and it is going to rock. Well, the game itself will rock but we may not necessarily rock very much ourselves...

We'll see. I feel a Killers battle looming with Arna, who I suspect has been practising all day

Christmas in Nelson, NZ

2007-12-26T12:56:00.000+13:00

It was a classic hot sunny Nelson summer day for Christmas this year, good times eating outside in the sun at my Grandparent's house for lunch, then home for a lie down in the afternoon.
We'd heard rumours of the Abel Tasman memorial statue being donned out in a Santa suit so we headed out to Tahuna to have a look (as you do). Alas some do-gooder had stipped him of his Christmas glory by the time we got there.

All in all a fun day had by all, today we're relaxing again and watching NZ vs Bangladesh in the one day cricket. Lazy days!

Tahunanui Beach Xmas 07

Fifeshire Rock

Rocks Road, looking towards Haulashore Island
(Can't take credit for this pic, it was 'borrowed' from My Friend!)

Christmas Moonboot & that bloody Croc again...

Merry Christmas 2007

2007-12-25T09:38:00.000+13:00

or is that Merry Crocmas?

Happy Childhood Memories

2007-12-23T20:33:00.000+13:00

With his Dad making the move out of Nelson, J recently brought his stash of old computers to our place and made them a happy little home up in the office. He likes to think of this stash as useful for retrograde research for his job, I like to think of them as his own personal computer museum.

To most people, these computers are just 'clutter' but I personally got over excited when he unpacked a box and out popped a ZX Spectrum. I had one of these when I was Nine years old, and seeing this brought back a flood of happy geeky memories:

The detailed setup instructions crack me up, though of course, things were a LOT simpler in those days (NB: use your OWN Television)

As for the juicy extras, I only had the data cassette recorder (my 10th birthday present from Mum and Dad) but J had all sorts of geeky goodness:

It's amazing really that with all of the awesome games with fantastic graphics available for things like PS3, Xbox 360 etc that right now I just have a giant urge to dig out a crappy old television plug this in and play Horace and the Spiders or Chucky Egg for hours on end this Xmas. Surely I'm not alone? Any old Sinclair fans out there???

Croc Count - Twenty Two and a Half

2007-12-23T17:09:00.000+13:00

So, a couple of weeks back we had a special visit by family from the land of Aus. As is standard when anyone visits Nelson a trip to the Saturday Market in the city was called for. It was then that the horrors began... It was a Croc fest all round - we saw three pairs in the first twelve seconds of arriving at the market at which time we set ourselves the target of spotting twenty pairs before we left town.

In reality we thought this would be riduculous, Nelson isn't that big, there can't be THAT many people wearing Crocs. Then we came across a family of five totally Croc-d out. I still don't get it, why do people wear these things?

My favourite Croc-spot was the woman with the hideous orange skirt with matching hideous orange Crocs (I'm sure I've seen her in the same outfit at a cafe another time).

We hadn't even got back to the car before we saw pairs twenty and twenty one. Set twenty two were in a lift at Nelson hospital, which is where the final half pair comes in. Mum has been keeping a secret from me. She owns Crocs. I've been assured she only wears them in the garden "not for good" and perhaps if she'd been wearing her Crocs last month instead of jandals she wouldn't have fallen over and broken her ankle and subsequently needed that surgery...

Whatever happened to November... and December?

2007-12-22T08:02:00.000+13:00

It's been a year of ups and downs and the last few weeks have been no different. I look at the calendar and realise that I've had no time to put anything on here for over a month. Slack. There's been visits from family that reside in strange, strange lands (Aussie), broken ankles (not mine), major house moving (Grandparents, J's Dad and workplace) - oh and they all shifted on the same day. Add to that the joy that is the usual end of year rush at work, when every man and his dog decides they want to buy property/take out a loan/repay their lending/do general banky type stuff ON THE LAST DAY THAT SOLICITORS ARE OPEN FOR THE YEAR. Good luck with that.

It's semi holiday now though, and I've decided that normal service must resume, especially as there is such an abundance of horrid footwear to be seen in Nelson now.

Ahhhh Crocs, the only downside to summer...

Edith - a Sight for Sore Eyes!

2007-11-18T21:09:00.000+13:00

Oh happy day! When staying in Wellington over the weekend, I looked out the window of 'The Penthouse' to spot The Edith!

For anyone that's bothered to read this thing for the last while, you may remember my joy at spotting The Edith when I was out at lunch one day on the waterfront in Nelson.

I think she's following me...

Movember... Bring it on!

2007-10-31T22:30:00.001+13:00

FYI...

J will be participating in Movember this year along with most of his work colleagues. This should be interesting!

How did you even get to this page???

2007-10-25T23:07:00.000+13:00

Recently I've noticed quite a rise in visitors to this strange old blog of mine. It's been enough of a lift for me to actually pay attention to the little reports I get once a week from sitemeter, and of particular interest (once I see where in the world my visitors are from) is just how they got here.

Some people come here through links on other blogs (cheers!), others come directly (my massive fanbase of three family members/friends perhaps?) and then of course there are the people out there in interweb land that sadly end up on this blog via a search engine when looking for something entirely different...

I'm willing to bet that the person that typed 'Naked Air Hostess' into google was sorely disappointed when they ended up on my story of annoying passengers on an Air NZ flight to Christchurch.

Several people recently have been hunting down 'Twilight Zone Quizzes' only to be lured into my rant about feeling stuck in the Twilight Zone at my local pub quiz. (What are these Twilight Zone quizzes anyways, I feel like I'm missing out!).

Overall though, the most commonly asked query in google leading people to this blog seems to be 'What's in A Mai Tai' - I'll bet they didn't really expect to see pictures of swans, BBQs and various other items thrown into a river in Nelson New Zealand. And who knew that cocktail was so popular? I must hunt down a recipe myself and try it out. Perhaps I'll google that right now...

Handy for rock festivals, camping, visits to Shelbyville...

2007-10-22T22:56:00.000+13:00

I mentioned this product in passing to a couple of friends recently, and I'm sure they thought I was off in some sort of fairyland. Not that it worried me, this 'fairyland' status but imagine how pleased I was to stumble across the official website for 'Urinelle Hygiene Cones' tonight:

http://www.urinelle.biz/html/en/About.shtml

Ladies, sick of squatting in those overheated, smelly port-o-loos at rock concerts? Annoyed at how easy it is for the men in your life to saunter into their facilities and relieve themselves hygienically? Now you too can wee with ease with new 'Urinelle'.

Not that I've actually tried this thing, but just look at the woman's face on the website! Not only is she happy and excited, but she's waving both hands in the air like she just don't care, yo! Kind of makes me wonder how she's holding the cone in place though...

Confessions of a life long pack-rat

2007-10-20T19:42:00.000+13:00

We're going through some much needed changes in the non-binary household. A clearing of the decks if you will. A recent stay by friends required our spare room to be (mostly) cleared out of clutter and, and the pain of this simple task was excruciating to say the least. Why, we asked ourselves, had we allowed this room that was tidy back in February (if, admittedly, a little stark, vaguely smelly, and probably unpleasant to sleep in) to turn back into a room full of boxes? Several nights of clearing, four rubbish bags and two charity bags later it was habitable again and hopefully our guests found it not-too-horrid to sleep in.

Now, in this 'clear out' we had to move many many boxes of useless 'stuff' into the office to be sorted later. It seemed like a good idea at the time you see. Anyway, our friends have departed the spare room which I guess means that 'later' has now arrived and the long weekend lays ahead and I predict it is going to be a rough one. One of the main reasons for the sheer volume of crap I/we (emphasis on the *I* there to be fair) have accumulated is my apparent inability to throw anything out that has been gifted to, or thrust upon us for fear of hurting the feelings of the gift-er or thrust-ee. It doesn't matter how useless/ugly/unnecessary/unwanted the gift/item is I just can't bring myself to throw it away, in case one day, say fifteen years from now, the neighbour knocks on the door and asks to see the slightly cracked enamel mug with two blunt pencils that they left for us when we first moved in. Or perhaps Great Aunt Edna may call by and expect to have afternoon tea served on the uglier than sin cheap glass EGG PLATE she gave me for my 21st birthday.

This is something I need to get over, and it has been a cause of great stress to me lately. After much hand wringing and long, embarrassing conversations with my 'inner circle' I have been gifted with some fabulous words of wisdom from a couple of insightful females friends that I've talked this over with lately. This is their advise (condensed version):

1) Aunt Edna/The neighbour/your old workmate from 1995 isn't going to come to the door asking to see item X in it's ugly glory. And if they do, tell them to shove it as their priorities are totally whack.

2) Purging is great

3) I only ever have to make one simple choice: Keep or Throw (and I was given an example of how to make this decision as follows...)

* Teddy Bear given to me for my first birthday, still looks good, sentimental value - KEEP (as it is almost antique by now surely!)

* Five years of badly written notes from high school Japanese class, was useless in 1992, is even more useless now - THROW

So I will enter the spare room (and every other room after that) armed with their wise words, many rubbish bags, my personal document shredder and the crazy idea that surely someone at the charity shop can make use of twelve ugly glass platters and I will PURGE, oh how I will purge... Wish me luck!

To be continued...

NB: The term 'unwanted gifts' does not apply to the various items on my 'shelf of oddness'. Items to be left on the shelf include, but are not limited to: Talking Gimp bag, Niagara falls back scratcher and the delightfully tacky seashell inspired toothpick holder from Southeast Victoria. These I will cherish forever

This is what I call a major malfunction

2007-10-18T20:23:00.000+13:00

A nasty looking Command Prompt window was probably not NCR's first choice for a welcome screen at this local ATM. However, as someone who hovers around the fringe of nerd-dom I found it amusing. The punters lining up for cash thought I was just weird taking this pic though. Go figure!

Just so we're clear, no, it's not just a game...

2007-10-11T22:23:00.000+13:00

Yes, it's been a rough week in NZ. We just didn't expect the All Blacks to lose that game on Sunday morning. We've taken it hard, but not as hard as the players themselves I am sure. And before you roll your eyes and mutter under your breath, yes I am aware, as is every other All Black fan, that no one died. Not even close. My thanks go out to anyone that has uttered those words to me, or anyone else in the last week, your condescension really thrills me. It makes me think you are special.

To be honest, in my opinion to say 'it's only a game' is extremely naive, because unless you walk around with a blindfold on you must realise that it's not. What I'm trying to say politely is that you've got your head up your arse if you don't realise that the All Blacks and rugby is a major industry in this country. I could carry on and ask you to tell the person that has pre-booked hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of advertising space during the semis and finals of the world cup that it's 'just a game', I'm sure the person accountable for their drop in revenue would beg to differ. And how about the magical mood enhancing powers an All Blacks win seems to hold for the people of NZ. It's amazing, and I wanted to taste a bit more of it.

I think I'll stop my rant here though, I'm starting to get cross at Wayne, Paddy and his IRB buddies again and it's too late in the day to get wound up... oh and Go All Blacks!

By all means give me a lecture for no reason, I enjoy it...

2007-09-23T08:51:00.000+12:00

I love it when people have a pre-conceived idea of a situation, and even when they're completely wrong, they continue with their pre-prepared little speeches to 'put people in their place'.

Well, when I say I 'love it' obviously it annoys the crap out of me - so I really 'enjoyed' this special moment last week:

I called up the Doctor's office one lunch time to ask for a repeat of a prescription. This was not an awkward request by any means, as I've been going through this routine for 10 years. I didn't quite expect the lunch time telling off it turned into though...

Me:
"Hello, this is non-binary, could I please have Dr M write me out a prescription for *insert corporate approved brand name* please"

Awkward pause...

Receptionist:
"Ohhhhh... were you wanting that today?"

Me:
"No, no next week will be fine I'm not in a hurry"

Receptionist:
"Because you know you've left it VERY late in the day to ask Doctor for this, he's very busy & I won't be able to get to him"

Me:
"Next week is fine, I don't need it today"

Receptionist:
"Well I won't be able to get it for you today, you'll have to wait until next week I hope you realise"

Me:
"Ah yep, okay then, thanks"

_ _ _

Why lecture me for asking for something I didn't want in the first place? It seems that no matter how nice I am to certain groups of people they always want to assert their 'authority' over me (and I use that term loosely). I have to be polite, because obviously I need them to get me something I want, but for goodness sake get a grip. You are NOT the actual Doctor.

Am I the only one who wonders why a lot of doctor's, Lawyer's and Dentist's receptionists are so rude? In my experience there seems to be a disproportionately high number of women in this industry with a superiority complex . Wake up, I know your job is busy, but so is mine. So is EVERYONE'S. Once you realise this you might just be able to find that happy place that lets you occasionally be nice to your customers, as awkward and annoying as we are ;-)

Dear Blogger.com

2007-09-15T12:07:00.000+12:00

I find your website nice and easy to use. Why? Because I am useless at such things as using the so-called 'HTML' and as such I appreciate how easy you make this.

I can type my pointless little ditty, upload a few stupid photos and laugh at the comments left to me by this Kurt the Ballerina character...

Today, blogger.com you taunted me, not only by encouraging me to use the HTML in your comments box, but by instructing me on how to do this 'HTML' in another language:

Sie können HTML-Tags verwenden

As tempting as it is to not only learn HTML (yep, it's right up there with scratching out my eyeballs) but to learn about it in a tongue foreign to my own, I'm going to decline the offer. I just thought I'd let you know for the future. Stop scaring me.

Many thanks,
non-binary

2007-09-15T11:33:00.000+12:00

Post Script:
This is the confirmation of posting message Blogger just gave me:

Creepy.

Swanning around in the Maitai

2007-09-11T19:52:00.001+12:00

I've taken a liking to this fella (well, assuming 'it' is a 'he'). He pretty much hangs around the bridge over troubled Maitai every lunch time when we go for a walk. It would seem that there is nothing quite like the sight of a giant whitebait stealing swan to soothe my middle of the day bad moods.

J must be pleased.

What's in the Maitai Today?

2007-09-10T22:04:00.000+12:00

A cheeky swan eating out of

an old woman's whitebait net!

(Sorry for the crap photo...)

Luna Rossa

2007-08-29T21:19:00.001+12:00

There was a lot of fun time to be had last night as we all stared up at the Lunar Eclipse. The view was perfect here in Nelson NZ unlike some of us in Dunedin, Auckland, and well, most other places who had to deal with cloudy skies. Not that the cloud stopped My Friend! getting some great shots from Dunners on her spangly camera:

I stole this screenshot directly from her blog - which you can view here.

Excitingly enough (for me) the next time we get to see one of these in NZ will be on the night of my 40th birthday. Good times ahead!

It's the small things that amuse me:

2007-08-15T21:08:00.000+12:00

Good taste has left the region - Croc count 4

2007-08-09T21:48:00.000+12:00

How is it possible that I saw FOUR pairs of Crocs today? It is cold, it is winter. The ulitmate in horrors was a woman wearing a pair of day-glo orange crocs, with socks. Matching day-glo orange socks. Seriously, I DON'T CARE how comfy these things are. They look riduculous and wearing orange ones does not make you cool or special. Yes, I'm talking to you lady eating a custard square outside Robert Harris Cafe today. Get some hush puppies. Nice sensible brown ones.

What's in the Maitai Today?

2007-08-08T18:11:00.000+12:00

Yet another Traffic Cone

A full sized shopping Trolley

(and two ducks)

Dear Rodrigo...

2007-08-04T09:42:00.000+12:00

Dear Rodrigo,
Thank you for the following informative and interesting comment left on my last posting which was entitled 'Winter' :

Rodrigo said... Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira.(If you speak English can see the version in English of the Camiseta Personalizada. Thanks for the attention, bye).
Até mais.

My rule is, leave a comment on here, open yourself up to me commenting on your 'blog' or should I say your extremely budget t-shirt selling website...

Firstly, thank you Rodrigo for the link for English speakers pointing to your blog. I in fact DO speak, read and can write in English, unlike whoever is in charge of editing your blog. So, being a curious type I clicked away... and I have to say, thanks for the best laugh I had all day.

Tell me, what kind of machine or online gadget did you use to translate your page into English? I want one. Just for amusement purposes.

Not that I don't agree with your opening text that states: 'What you find of being only? Why to be dressed as everybody? Why not to make something special and different? Either original, it makes its proper t-shirt. It places the image that to want, the text that to give will. Either only. Either you'
Seriously, you have a couple of really valid points. I think. After all, why NOT to make something special and different?

My personal favourite section on your website is the 'It takes off Doubts' section, which I can only assume has been translated from 'FAQs'. Sadly reading this has not taken away my doubts I had about ordering t-shirts from your website, in fact it has raised several issues:

'He is safe to buy in the CamisaOnline? Yes he is safe.'
- Who is 'He'? To be honest I'd rather give my credit card details to the random singing/yelling dude that comes into my work on a weekly basis than to you.

'How I receive my t-shirt?
The CamisaOnline takes care of Brazil all. The sending of t-shirts if gives through the post offices thus you receives the t-shirt in its house.'
- When you say 'takes care of Brazil' do you mean in a Sopranos/Godfather way? This seems a little scary to me. Also, how will you send a t-shirt in a house through the post? Surely the postage charges will be prohibative?

Now I don't want to be too mean, you look like a happy, friendly guy for a complete stranger. And I thank you for the thoughtful and generous offer for me to buy your goods. Regretfully I have to decline in this instance. Feel free however to let me know when you set up your next website, I'll bookmark it and visit when I've had a rough day at work and need a good giggle.

Kindest of regards
Crooksy

Winter

2007-07-26T19:45:00.000+12:00

There are only two good things about winter:
- Rugby
- The visible reduction in Croc wearage

Weekly Croc count: 1
Colour: Purple
Reason for croc usage: Socially defective shoe purchaser

A Smashing Pumpkin Chemically Romantic Love Child?

2007-07-15T22:10:00.000+12:00

Has Billy Corgan from Smashing Pumpkins morphed into Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance? Don't be fooled by the news of a Smashing Pumpkins reunion... clearly Corgan has quite the side venture on the go already!

Memories of a healthier lifestyle

2007-07-15T10:06:00.000+12:00

Last summer, we realised we can't just sit on our arses and expect personal fitness to happen as if by magic. This was our regular after work walk and we would try to do it four times a week. And we did do it, regularly. Four times a week! But then daylight savings ended, winter cold and darkness set in and now we are back to sitting on our arses again.

I don't know about J but I for one am completely unfit again, tired and feeling incredibly lazy.

One of two things needs to now happen:
1) We start walking again at the weekends (I say weekends, as darkness is not condusive to lovely walks on weeknights)
2) We resume using the excercycle that's sitting in the lounge, begging us to not ignore it any longer. After all we did buy it for this exact reason.

To be continued...

Where the hell is the Maitai?

2007-07-12T21:20:00.000+12:00

The Maitai River, Nelson, New Zealand

- Tidal
- Pretty much clean (though, occasionally you'll see signs warning people against eating fish caught here as there seems to be a mystery source of POO somewhere along the mighty Maitai)
- It's where all the good folk hang out!
- A good place for a nice lunch time walk (see blue line above!)

Most of the photos from my 'What's in the Maitai Today?' section are taken from an footbridge that's marked by the blue bubble-arrow as above.

What's in the Maitai Today?

2007-07-12T21:00:00.000+12:00

A two burner BBQ!

Strange looking fellow

2007-07-09T21:27:00.000+12:00

Bad Manners

2007-07-09T20:39:00.000+12:00

Why do 3/4 of the people who use our shared driveway feel the need to drive at excessive speed along it?

It's totally inappropriate, dangerous and it really pisses me off.

Sometimes I am tempted to throw a rock off the balcony when they do it. One day I might.

Quiz Night/Twilight Zone...

2007-07-06T18:13:00.000+12:00

Being professional nerds, we enjoy a good pub quiz as a way brighten up the middle of the week. So, for the last few weeks we've been off to the local on a Wednesday to test our skills against our fellow Nelsonions.
We even won, twice. (well, technically we got 2nd last week but who's counting)

Now, every pub attracts it's fair share of freaks and weirdos sitting in the corners and our local is no different. The trouble is, the last three times we've been to the pub the freaks and weirdos have decided to gravitate to our table. First it was random transient dude who wanted to speak in riddles and extra long words. The next week it was another transient, this one less random as I've seen him around work (pretty sure this dude is wasted/stoned 95% of the time). This week we were treated to two drunk aggro English tourists and a bunch of suited, louder by the pint real estate agents from out of town. Why do these people think we give a toss what they have to say?

While some people might be flattered by random freakness it is starting to wear thin. We've realised that under NO circumstances should we try to be polite at first by giving a non-committal smile or a quiet hello... THIS ONLY ENCOURAGES INTERACTION!

So, next week we may swap pubs for a night or alternatively sit in a corner and growl at any passers by... any suggestions to dissuade random freaks from making contact will be gratefully received.

Back to Work!

2007-07-02T21:54:00.000+12:00

Ah the first day back at work after a week long break! It was surprisingly good - no nasty surprises waiting on my desk, no horrible emails. My workmate even shouted piles of lovely treats for morning tea to celebrate her b-day. Everything was good apart from the 96 oil soaked/wrecked work related stickers waiting for my undivided attention (oh yes, my life now involves fun tasks such as sticker production!) everything was peachy keen.

Even the drive in to the city today was enjoyable because it's school holidays, which apparently means 75% less cars on the Nelson roads judging by today's lack of congestion. It would seem that not many Nelson teachers lower themselves to carpool in this so called Greenie town of ours. But I digress from being happy and joyful in this happy joyful posting. Basically it was a good day all round. Life is fun.

What a positive post!

Wouldn't it be nice to have another week off though? Then we could do this again:

This dude's tshirt says it all really!

De-Pimp My Lounge

2007-07-01T23:52:00.001+12:00

For my 30th Birthday party, I pimped up the lounge to match the 70s party theme, with suitably psychedelic lampshades. Temporarily of course, as J couldn't stand the sight of them.

I'm not exactly known for my lightening speed at tidying up. It's been a mere 32 months since my 30th party and good things take time.

So, since October 2004 the horror that is 'Those Bloody Lampshades' has greeted us on a daily basis, and been on the receiving end of many a worried glance from guests. But still, I felt no compulsion to take them down.

This week however, after seven days of shitty rain forced us to stay inside while on holiday something cracked. I decided to make amends with the gods of good(ish) taste and move the lampshades to a less conspicuous and visually offensive place (i.e. the junk cupboard).

So it's bye bye purple-pink horrors:

And hello faux-Japanese imitation bamboo lounge 'dressings'

Hopefully these will attract less sideways looks, and promote a more harmonious and restful TV watching environment for one and all!

And that my friends is as close to doing DIY bullshit that I will ever go...

Why does the world give a crap?

2007-06-28T21:09:00.000+12:00

Paris Hilton Sony Camera Ipod Apple Mac PC Microsoft flight travel holiday money earn from home university blog news dracula vampire evil woman sopranos tv heat pump fire aircon

Neville's joke of the day

2007-06-28T15:51:00.001+12:00

Joke of the day from my 77 year old Grandfather:

A man turns 65 and goes down to the NZ social welfare office to sign up for his pension.

When he comes back home his wife says to him "How did it go dear?'
The man replies "All went well Doris, all I had to do was unbutton my shirt and show them my chest"

"What did you have to do that for?" Doris asked

"Well, once they saw the grey hairs on my chest they knew I was of retirement age"

"You should have undone your pants and shown them your old fella" replies Doris, "then we could have gotten the invalid's benefit"

Naked xrays coming to a Kiwi airport near you!

2007-06-28T10:07:00.000+12:00

The news that NZ will be trialling 'naked airport scanners' doesn't stress me too much. Frankly I'll be happy if they find stashed weapons hidden under people's clothes. I am worried however for this guy: WTF did the xray do to his knob? And what is that thing on his shoulder?

Life's confusing moments

2007-06-26T09:26:00.000+12:00

As I sat in a 3/4 empty plane on Saturday morning I watched a woman standing in the aisle looking distressed and hesitant to sit down in the vacant row 7.

'Is there a problem I can help with?' asked the kindly older woman in row 8'

'Oh no thanks' said the woman 'I'm just trying to work out which one is the window seat'

(subtle hint: it's the one by the window)

30 Hours of Pure Wellington Goodness

2007-06-24T18:12:00.000+12:00

We just returned from a weekend in Wellington

visiting friends. A good time had by all with

plenty to eat and drink!

We even managed to fit in some touristy stuff,

including stopping by the dock in Miramar where

'the boat from King Kong' is moored (after all no trip to

Wellington is complete without a Peter Jackson experience).

Also saw 2/3 of the band Evermore in a cafe in Cuba Street, which is the closest I'll get to seeing them for awhile as their concert here in Nelson (tonight) sold out in a couple of hours apparently. ONE DAY we'll get a decent sized venue in this town for bands!

On the way home flew over Cissy Bay, where my parent's live (the little blue marker on the map above) - if you click on the photo below their house is about where the red dot sits.

A great weekend all round, was brilliant to have a couple of days with LD and Dr P as they're moving overseas soon. So now we're home, got loads of housework to do and one of the cats has gone psycho in our absence. Good times!

BK Visits - 3 and counting

2007-06-19T23:56:00.000+12:00

My workmates joked that when Burger King opened in Nelson that I would be there every day for lunch, but I'm only up to three visits in three weeks. Impressive show of restraint if you ask me!

Rude People in Confined Spaces

2007-06-16T18:31:00.000+12:00

It never ceases to amaze me how rude people can be in basic, use-your-common-sense type situations.

Thursday saw me off on a Nelson - Christchurch - Invercargill (and back) journey for a work meeting. Nothing rude about that, except perhaps the 5:00am wake up time. But, that is the price I had to pay to avoid a night in Invercargill (I just can't handle sleeping that near to Antartica).

After my meeting I sat at Invercargill airport waiting. My head was throbbing, nose completely blocked and throat felt like I had swallowed one of Satan's fiery balls. The damn headcold was back. My flight was delayed due to 'navigational issues' (i.e. broken plane) and I was beginning to fear a night in the deep south was my destiny.

Thankfully the plane finally arrived almost an hour and a half late, but better late than broken right? I had worries about making my Nelson flight connection in Christchurch but couldn't do much about it. We all shuffled on the flight and settled in.

Much to my delight about 40 mins into the journey the Air Hostess announces that there are four of us that are travelling through to Nelson and that our plane will be waiting for us, but we will need to disembark quickly at ChCh and go straight to the Nelson flight. Not a problem.

We start to descend, and once again the Air Hostess is making an announcement, this time asking the Nelson bound passengers to press their call lights so the other passengers know where we are, to enable us to get off the plane quickly without disruption. This chick is great, super efficient!

We land, Air Hostess once again reminds passengers that the Nelson bound people need to get off quickly and to please allow us to do so. Great, this is going to be a breeze...

Seat belt sign switches off and 62 selfish morons jump out of their seats and crowd the aisle so they can get their bags from the overhead lockers. The FOUR of us trying to make our Nelson connection have to squeeze our way through and the poor Air Hostess looks dumbfounded.

Where is a cattle prod when you need one?

What's Going in the Maitai Soon?

2007-05-28T21:56:00.001+12:00

Horrendous slippers made of Cookie Monster skin!

What's in the Maitai Today?

2007-05-28T21:50:00.000+12:00

A shiny road cone

An undersized shopping trolley

Happy 30th Birthday Star Wars

2007-05-25T21:26:00.000+12:00

Now surely I'm not a prude...

2007-05-10T23:53:00.000+12:00

I was watching one of those 'ditch your house in cold old England and move to somewhere sunny with all the other Brits' type shows on UKTV tonight.

Allow me to set the scene:

Perky English programme narrator is showing a fine upstanding, well spoken, quiet English couple in their 60s around an apartment complex in Corsica

Lounge - Very bright and cheerful, enough room for a a lovely sofa bed
Bedrooms - small, but Mrs thinks this is 'quite pleasant'
Kitchen - Mrs thinks it is clean and tidy with all the room she needs
Bathroom - Mr likes this very much, and he goes on to state that 'We'll be able to get three or four people under that shower at once'

What??

I'll have to keep watching this show, maybe it is some sort of covert public broadcast for the Swingers Network

Dear Anonymous....

2007-05-09T07:19:00.000+12:00

I give you this photo as an open reply to 'Anonymous' (codename: YENWOP) and their comment last night:

"These are actually Cissy Bay Wedding shoes. I attended a get together down that way recentlyand many people were wearing this type of footwear.There was also some interesting hats being worn made of possum skin+pigs hide i think."

Anoynymous, I think you will find that the above is a more accurate representation of footwear at one of those events i.e. au naturale

An even bigger Croc....

2007-05-08T18:57:00.000+12:00

I saw a pair of these walking past my office window today. At first I thought some idiot was wearing a pair of neoprene swimming shoes with crocs. Soon realised an even bigger idiot had purchased preprepared swimming crocs.

Scammed!!!

Blogged down by my own slackness

2007-05-04T20:27:00.000+12:00

What can I say, it's been a slow month. Nothing much happening to even vaguely take my interest. Nothing to be a smart arse about...

The most exciting part of the week so far was getting my annual Flu jab - now that's thrilling stuff!

Perhaps this weekend will bring some excitement, or perhaps I should be happy with a quiet life!

ANZAC Day 2007

2007-04-25T20:29:00.000+12:00

I loathe the cold.

2007-04-12T20:47:00.000+12:00

In NZ Easter is known for having crappy weather. No matter when it the holiday period is, as if by some huge cosmic joke it pours down - all over the happy families on their happy camping holidays.

This year it was hot, it was sunny. I even got sunburnt on Saturday.
Today, there was snow on the hills around Nelson.

Bah.

Easter Surprise!

2007-04-04T20:40:00.000+12:00

There is an amazing assortment of Easter treats available in the stores these days. From the "Dora the Explorer" multilinguial chocolate learn-fest egg, to a "Thomas the Tank Engine" egg with appropriately themed digital watch boxed set. I guess it was only a matter of time before someone brought out some sort of Desert Storm/Middle East conflict Easter Egg Action Figurine set!

Imagine my surprise and delight to find the Easter Bunny had delivered early this year and dropped off a special treat on my doorstep:

On closer inspection, I'm unsure if this is Cadbury's 'best idea ever' but surely it's less controversial than last week's news worthy anatomically correct chocolate Jesus?

"Warm cover of the Toilet Bowl"

2007-03-30T17:56:00.000+12:00

Found this gem at the $2 shop today and it will be winging it's way to a special lady in the Deep South soon! It will be quite handy as Dunedin can be cruel on the backside in winter I am sure.

This not only goes on top of the toilet seat, but underneath it too (to be sure to catch all the drips and dribbles?). Apparently it has the following characteristics:

"Keep warm in winter, comfortable. Health care and sanitary"

"International fashion domestic"

and my particular favorite:

"Anti-bacterium & smell proof"

(I can only assume the sanitary and smell proof parts are rendered invalid once someone pees on it)

Nasa Image of Mt Ruapehu

2007-03-29T20:15:00.001+12:00

Nasa have released this image of the recent Lahar on Mt Ruapehu, NZ.

If you click here you can compare this image to a similar one taken of Mt Ruapehu in 2002.

Who said being spied on doesn't have fun benefits too!

Image Credit: NASA/GSFC/METI/ERSDAC/JAROS,and U.S./Japan ASTER Science Team

What's in the Maitai Today?

2007-03-27T18:00:00.000+12:00

Last week's flowery mug has a friend, this week a berry flavoured mug has found it's way to the mighty Maitai.

2007-03-27T17:10:00.000+12:00

What a lovely pair they make!

Not sure if this is an example of Asexual Reproduction ceramic-style or there is a colony of these things living upstream.

Would go nicely with a pair of Crocs!

2007-03-24T14:14:00.000+12:00

Saw this lovely advert in the latest Automobile Association magazine.

Handy!

- 'Made from Lush pure 100% Polyester' What?
- 'Wear them for Entertaining or even for a candlelight dinner for two' Just DON'T go near the candle

Desperately Seeking Mr Hooker:

2007-03-20T18:49:00.000+12:00

Nothing quite says 'Private yet professional' than a house sale sign written in black marker pen on an empty cat food box.

What's in the Maitai Today?

2007-03-20T17:51:00.000+12:00

A lovely flowery coffee mug!

St Patrick's Day treat - BBQ the BBQ!

2007-03-18T11:35:00.000+12:00

What better way to celebrate St Patrick's Day than by setting fire to the BBQ!

Helpful hint for one and all - if, (when trying to put out a fire) you find out your fire extinguisher is not working , throw sopping wet tea towels on the flames!!

Note: The burnt thing in the picture is a supposed 'fire retardant' fat drip absorber from The Warehouse. Turns out not so fire retardant...

How to ruin a childhood memory:

2007-03-16T21:50:00.000+13:00

Are you in your 20s or 30s and grew up in Nelson, NZ?
If you are, then you probably have some super childhood memories of going to the Tahunanui playground for fun and special good times!

You may also then be totally disturbed at what I found at 'Natureland' Zoo - it is the headless remains of the famous Giraffe Swing!
Why would they do this? And why would they leave it in a zoo with actual living creatures? I don't like it.

Wankiest wine description EVER!

2007-03-15T20:03:00.000+13:00

Fabulous stuff from the all new YAHOO!Xtra Lifestyle section:

Max Allen's wine suggestions

Dessert:
Try the gently alcoholic (5-6 per cent), sherbsty-foaming, grapey deliciousness of a moscato-sweet white wine.

....pardon?

"It" rubs the software on the skin...

2007-03-12T21:57:00.000+13:00

Something about software being referred to as "It" frightens me a little.

Media Watch

2007-03-10T18:48:00.000+13:00

Woman reports stolen cannabis to NZ Police

This is just stupid and surely falls under the 'what not to do' category.

Crocs: The $2 billion success story
This is just plain sickening - Apparently $5 million worth of these shitty shoes were sold in NZ last year. I didn't realise so many kiwis were that brain deficient.

On the Good Ship.... Edith??

2007-03-10T18:26:00.000+13:00

This is one for the 'Alberton-ites'

It just goes to show, you never know what you'll see when you're out having lunch in Nelson

The Australians are coming...

2007-02-28T20:50:00.000+13:00

With their interesting customs and their funny accents!

For the love of Powney!

What's in the Maitai Today?

2007-02-27T18:55:00.000+13:00

As a tribute to my friend's blog Urban Fortress which features a 'What's in the Leith Today' segment, welcome to the inaugural 'What's in the Maitai today' posting:

Today we have three lovely images:

#1 Delicious Trout

#2 Some sort of Hockey goal suspended mid-air

(okay, technically this is more 'What's above the Maitai Today')

#3 This is the Money Shot - A Car Stereo!

Finding Special Friends Online...

2007-02-24T20:39:00.000+13:00

Looking for a hot date for those cold winter nights? Visit New Zealand's #1 dating site here

Spare Room Miracle!

2007-02-22T23:25:00.000+13:00

Arrived home tonight after a hectic afternoon of 'stuff' to find major progress in the spare room dept.

What would we do without the power that is Big J??

Spare room envy

2007-02-14T22:45:00.000+13:00

Procrastination and sheer bloody laziness caught up with me today.

I have found myself in the unenviable position of having a new queen size 'guest' bed stranded in a hallway, and a spare room full of junk with no useful gap to place the bed.

Can't move the bed until the junk is gone. Can't get rid of the junk as the bed is blocking the doorway.

I know. It is my own fault, I created a junk monster. Time to slay that monster though, guests who want to use guest bed IN the guest room arrive next week. I need help.

Wolf Moon a rising...

2007-02-01T22:55:00.000+13:00

New Moon raising over the Grampians, Nelson NZ

Plainly I am not a professional.

Mount Taranaki from above

2007-01-28T09:26:00.001+13:00

Yet another bad photo of a nice bit of Kiwi Scenery. This is Mount Taranaki from the aeroplane. For those of you playing at home, yes this is where the movie 'The Last Samurai' was filmed - well spotted ;)

Not a valid form of footwear 2.0

2007-01-27T11:42:00.000+13:00

I thought that those Crocs 'shoes' were bad, but I think these are potentially worse.

What are they for? A night on the town when you want to wear boots but it is simply too hot? Perhaps those times when you have to perform a quick bit of emergency Gladiator fighting? What a load of old balls!